someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Randomize
