Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Randomize
