My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
