He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
