from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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