So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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