Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
