Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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