i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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