I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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