STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Dignity is for republicans.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Randomize
