I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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