you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Randomize