Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Randomize
