After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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