She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
