i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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