The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
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