I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I just got carded by a ten year old.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
