If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
