i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
