never play flip cup with pint glasses
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize