After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
