how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
