When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize
