Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
