It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize