my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Randomize