Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
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