Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
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