I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
