I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
