He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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