In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
