I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Randomize
