Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
