Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize