I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
