Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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