I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
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