I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
