i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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