she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
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