i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize