i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
