Sponge bath it is.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
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