Where is the hickey?
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
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