I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
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