Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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