No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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