but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
