Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
