i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Randomize
