Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
