Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
Randomize
