your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
