this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Well I just put wine in my tea
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
