So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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