Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
