Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
He kissed a someone with a penis
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
