dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
